


The Fifteenth Entity is HONK

by Pom_Rania



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast), Untitled Goose Game (Video Game)
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Gen, I guess this counts as crackfic, Not particularly serious, ambiguously-supernatural goose, tried my best to have this canon-compliant for both canons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:22:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 1,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28533606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pom_Rania/pseuds/Pom_Rania
Summary: One horrible goose can create an awful lot of fear, after all....Bits of dialogue that would support the goose serving each of the different Entities.
Comments: 12
Kudos: 30





	1. Introduction

“Can an animal be an Avatar?”

“Hmm... I haven’t come across it, but I don’t see why not.”

“What about an Avatar of multiple different Fears?”

“What?”


	2. Spiral

“--swear I’m not crazy, I put it RIGHT HERE and it was gone when I turned around --”

“--might not know much about geese, but that doesn’t seem normal. Right? Or did everyone else already know that, and I’m the only one who --”

“--and if I WAS hallucinating, it’s only because of sleep deprivation because it WON’T STOP HONKING right outside my --”

“--tell me you see it too, please tell me you see it too, please tell me you --”

“--definitely SMILED at me as it walked away --”

“--do you mean you won’t call Animal Control, that’s specifically what they’re there for --”

“--those TEETH, that can’t be real, it has to be a monster, birds don’t have --”

“--thought I saw movement in the-- SOMETHING JUST STOLE MY --”

“--really, it comes by all the time, you have to believe me, just wait a little longer and you’ll --”

“--how could this have even gotten here, I know I didn’t move it, or at least I don’t remember --”

“--it’s crazy, I’m not crazy, it’s crazy, I’m not crazy --”

*HONK*


	3. Stranger

“–a statue, I KNOW it was a statue and not some weird animatronic thing, so how did it move –”

“–lot of birds throughout my life, they shouldn’t act like that, not even the really klepto ones –”

“–perfectly normal then all of a sudden it CHARGED at me –”

“–never be able to trust waterfowl again –”

“–could you even confuse a statue and a live bird anyways –”

“–but the sound was completely wrong, like some kind of sick parody of a honk or –”

“–and the way it moves, like it has more plans inside its head than its tiny little brain should be able to –”

“–thought it was friendly, it approached me calmly, then –”

“–they all look the same, there’s not much variation you can get with white bird orange beak, you can’t tell which one of them is going to –”

*HONK*


	4. Vast

“–the ladder as soon as I stepped off of it, I was stuck up there for what felt like –”

“–read somewhere that there’s more poultry birds in the world than humans, what if they all are like –”

“–was in its element, and I very much did not belong there, as someone who can’t fly and can barely swim, if I couldn’t keep it away from the boat’s main –”

“–and put them all the way out on the very edge, I had to inch my way over so I wouldn’t fall –”

“–larger than it, how can it make me feel SMALL –”

“–from any angle, there’s no escape and you’re out in the open –”

“–course IT doesn’t need to worry about falling, it’s a BIRD, and I could feel it mocking me at my lack of wings –”

“–maybe I don’t need to retrieve those keys so much after all, not if they were dropped in the deep end of –”

“–knew if I slipped it would be beside me all the way, until I hit ground –”

“–blocked out the stars then I realized it had to be right close to me in order to seem that large –”

“–always that terrible moment of vertigo that lasts forever even though it was only a split second before I faceplanted and –”

“–used to find it peaceful up there, but I can’t any more, because I’m always expecting –”

*HONK*


	5. Flesh

“–does a goose even need with a string of sausages, I thought they only ate grains –”

“–can’t decide whether I should swear off poultry altogether, or have even more of it as revenge –”

“–feel its beak tearing through my arm, but there was only a tiny scratch when I went to look, don’t tell me I was imagining it –”

“–more wings than it should have had, and all of them were busy swatting my face –”

“–have teeth? I didn’t know they had teeth either! Until I saw it up close and –”

“–cared no more for me than I ever cared about the animals that were my dinner –”

“–entire contents of the meat freezer strewn out on the lawn, defrosting and causing an almighty stench –”

“–don’t want to be eaten by a goose! I don’t –”

“–aware of how clumsy my body was, compared to –”

*HONK*


	6. Eye

“--worse when it’s not doing anything, just watching and you KNOW it’s planning --”

“--thought I was alone but then out of nowhere --”

“--if any animal can invent blackmail, it’s that --”

“--soulless empty eyes against white feathers --”

“--does it know so much? But it only ever uses that to cause misery --”

“--yes I know it sounds like a joke, trust me it’s different when you’re the one being stared at by a --”

“--lost for all those years, I was sure they were gone for good, until THAT THING somehow manages to find them and put them in the most inconvenient --”

“--all my routines better than I remember them myself --”

“--always seems to be there to witness all of my dumbest mistakes and laugh at them --”

“--you can see it, then it can see you; if you can’t see it, then it’s right behind you --”

“--could have gone my entire life without knowing geese had teeth, if there’s any bit of information I wish I could just erase from my --”

“--impossible to use the bathroom with a goose staring at you, even if it’s through a window or --”

“--those eyes that just look right through your very soul and dismiss any concept of worth you might have --”

“--not so much what it’s doing at the moment, but rather what this means that it COULD --”

*HONK*


	7. Desolation

“–turned the power off, and I hadn’t saved the file in too long so all that work is gone –”

“–sudden intense mental image of how much it would hurt if I touched –”

“–ruined EVERYTHING –”

“–tell you, you don’t know true fear until you’re staring in the face of an animal that might in fact have learned the secret of fire –”

“–keeps tearing it down, and I keep having to put it back up; and I’ve had people say I should just stop, but what if then it goes even further –”

“–washed away, gone forever –”

“–don’t know how we can recover after that, we’ll need a lot of extra sales in order to make up for –”

“–say that animals have no concept of right or wrong, but I dare them to observe that bird and then conclude that it isn’t causing misery on purpose –”

“–barely even the seeds left for next year –”

“–dropped it and it shattered into tiny little pieces –”

“–didn’t actually peck at me, but what if it did and –”

“–seemed odd to gather stuff like that, until that feathered monster stole my shoes and I had to walk barefoot over the –”

“–waited until I got close enough to see it tear apart the –”

“–everything easily breakable, and some things I have no idea how it could manage to –”

*HONK*


	8. Slaughter

“--more vicious than people would think --”

“--seen the pictures, but did you ever bother to THINK what a bird with a knife in its beak would be like when it --”

“--completely fearless, doesn’t seem to care if it gets hurt --”

“--lot of power behind those wings, you will FEEL it if you get hit by --”

“--don’t know how a honk can manage to sound like a person being murdered --”

“--expectations, right? Like if you yell at an animal, make yourself seem large and loud, it will go away. This thing took it as a CHALLENGE and --”

“--absolutely do not care, it belongs to the goose now, I’m not going to fight it over something like --”

“--a human at least you can reason with, even if it might not work; but a bird --”

“--came out of nowhere and rushed me, and yeah I screamed and turned and ran, that’s the only sensible thing to do when you’re faced with --”

“--pretty sure they don’t eat meat? Or at least they don’t hunt for food, maybe they scavenge or eat insects, it doesn’t matter. The point is that this definitely wasn’t a bird being hungry, the thing was simply out for blood --”

“--just made me so ANGRY, I don’t like to think that I’m the kind of person who can consider violence against a goose --”

“--not scared? You should be --”

*HONK*


	9. Buried

“--can’t deal with THIS on top of everything else that’s going on --”

“--locked me in! It never seemed small until I couldn’t get out --”

“--and it all fell down, right where I was --”

“--can’t have dug that hole, geese don’t dig, right? Although after what happened --”

“--with it pressuring me --”

“--not technically locked in, but what else can you call it when you don’t dare go out --”

“--would bet that it triggered that shelf-avalanche on purpose --”

“--just need some time to THINK but it won’t leave me alone --”

“--stuck under all that stuff for what felt like hours, with just those mocking honks for company --”

“--so many places where a goose could block all possible exits, and I can’t help but be aware of that all the time now --”

“--arrangement has to be intentional, do you really mean to tell me that by sheer chance the most important stuff is placed where moving it will cause everything to collapse onto whoever --”

“--of course it picks my busiest days to cause problems --”

*HONK*


	10. Web

“--plan something like that? Or maybe it was just --”

“--of course it was right when I turned around to check out what that other thing --”

“--that’s exactly what it wants you to do --”

“--not, in fact, too smart to get played by a goose --”

“--because what else would I do, and then there was another there so I went to deal with that as well, and that kept going until before I knew it --”

“--you’re so sure, then YOU go and do it. Me, I’m not taking the chance that it’s another of those traps or lures --”

“--know it sounds stupid when I say it like that, but listen, at the time it made perfect sense --”

“--so I could only go one direction if I didn’t want to get all tangled up --”

“--like it has an innate feel of what it would take to get you to --”

“--thought I knew what the score was so I ignored that completely, and went on with what I was doing, but it turned out --”

“--that much control over such a relatively large area --”

“--like we’re just the pieces in some game for its own amusement, that’s the best I can explain what it --”

*HONK*


	11. Hunt

“--wouldn’t stop chasing me --”

“--spending so much time on this, please, it’s just a goose, why do you even have a net that size --”

“--popped up right out of nowhere --”

“--shouldn’t have said that I need to get more exercise, because when something like that is coming after you, you RUN --”

“--waiting, always waiting --”

“--with those awkward little legs, but it doesn’t matter how much faster I am, because it keeps coming back --”

“--they say birds were once dinosaurs, after all, and now it’s a lot easier to understand --”

“--and I’m going to get it this time, I swear --”

“--not gone, it’s never gone, it’s just giving you some time to let your guard down before --”

“--like playing Tag as a kid, except SO MUCH worse --”

“--stay here then it’ll find me, but if I go to somewhere else then it’ll catch me --”

“--maybe I could have, but it’s hard to think when you’re in full-on flight reflex --”

“--so very sorry for teasing you about that, I get it now, your body just kind of freezes when you hear that loud --”

*HONK*


End file.
